A MUST READ......Memoirs of a Miserable Lover

ionlylikemonsters

the slow and sure strokes of his tongue………. did I mention the lips that cradled that tongue felt super soft and supple?

Dear memoir,
Tonight……… I kissed him.
I kissed those lips I’ve wanted to have a taste of for three whole years.
Three years of longing, of dreaming of having him all to myself, of wanting him so bad and aching because I know I can’t…….. shouldn’t have him.
Three years of trying to quench this raging inferno that burns inside of me whenever I hear his voice or look into his eyes…. three years of trying to convince myself I wasn’t in love with him…. this love, oh so forbidden.
I shouldn’t have, and I know that but his full pink lips were calling and then our lips touched…..
Oh my.
Its lush, soft and supple feel blew me away.
I couldn’t think, I was still trying to gather my wits scattered about me then his tongue snuck into my now very willing lips
the slow and sure strokes of his tongue………. did I mention the lips that cradled that tongue felt super soft and supple?
I wanted all of him and I wanted him now!
You gotta stop!
‘le conscience’ was screaming in my head.
Tell that to my lips I thought, this felt too good to stop.
Go away! I screamed back at le conscience.
And then grabbed his neck and let myself go, revelling in this kiss of life. I was trying to prove a point to this goody two shoes conscience of mine. The torture of wanting and not having him had to stop.
He let out a soft, guttural sound as my hands touched his neck……. letting me know the kiss got his senses reeling as did mine and like clockwork, I felt my core tighten and the juices flow…..
Right then, that moment….. I could do anything to hear that sound again. I poured my soul into the kiss and his hands which were caressing my upper back moved slowly down my waist…….
It felt so good to be in his arms.
Stop it this minute le conscience screamed again and I felt myself pull away.
Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!
My lips wanted more, my heart was beating a rhythm that urged me to go on with the kiss but somehow le conscience was in control of my actions.
damn you conscience! damn you to blazes!
I buried my face in his chest and he understood….. didn’t ask why I pulled away.
His knowledge of my emotions were one of the things that endeared me to him.
Gosh! I loved him so…..
“I’ve wanted to do this for too long choco, I knew if we kissed it will be outta this world. Its 11pm and I’m walking on sunshine, only you could do that to me”
I heard him say above my head and giggled.
“Look at me choco, I want to see your beautiful face.”
My heart melted all over again at the sound of his voice calling me beautiful….. choco….. that name.
*blushes*
“No, I cant”
“Come on love, look at me”
I couldn’t, my head felt like tonnes of bricks just dropped on it and it could not move. The conflicting emotions made it spin.
Its crazy yeah?
You see, dear memoir.
My head was spinning because I didn’t know if I should go with my conscience or my heart. Granted, I was in love with this not so beautiful man but le conscience wouldn’t let me have him.
“You have to go now Q, you have work tomorrow and its quite late. Besides, she’ll be wondering where you went.”
I said and moved away from him, looking into his eyes.
I saw desire, passion, love and pain. The pain of wanting something….. scratch that, someone so badly and knowing you can’t have that person.
I felt my hands raise in an attempt to touch his face, then pulled it back halfway.
He smiled.
“you are so strong choco, and I love you.”
I smiled back at him.
My heart replied his words but my lips didn’t say a thing. How did this happen? How did we both fall hopelessly in love with each other, knowing society will be appalled and will frown at such unholy desire. I shook the thought out of my mind.
“What time tomorrow do I see u?” I asked
“After work perhaps?”
“Whenever is cool Q, I’ll be right here waiting.”
He nodded, planted a kiss on my cheek and left my hotel room.
I follow him out and stood, watching him go…. with my heart.
I saw him bring out his phone and heard mine ring. I rushed in to pick the call and saw his name on my screen.
*giggle, blush…. more blush*
I walk back to the door and see him standing at the far end of the hall. I answer my still ringing phone
“You know you can just walk back here and tell me what you want to right?”
He laughs
“But then I’ll have to kiss you again and I’ll bet you don’t want that…. or do u?”
I smile into the phone.
“I could feel your eyes boring a hole in my back choco, do you miss me already?”
I see a mischievous grin on his face and I giggle again
“I always miss you Q”
*sigh*
“You have to go now Q, I can’t trust me anymore around you. Goodbye”
I blow him a kiss and walk back into the room then shut the door.
My hand finds its way to the still tingling spot on my cheek and my eyes water.
I want to walk him to his car, his hand in mine and kiss him so deeply when he sits…… ready to take off while the spot between my thighs throbs from his good good loving but for the fear of eyes watching and le (nagging) conscience, I wouldn’t dare.
I walk to the bathroom to pee the konji inspired urine almost bursting outta my bladder. I finish, switch off the light and my horny self begins to convince my mind on reasons why I should own three dildos/vibrators.
le conscience thinks its a good idea, provided it keeps me away from Q
I make a mental note to get one as soon as I convince myself a dildo is better than a man’s touch, better than Q’s touch….
*scoffs*
I don’t see that happening soon though. I love real too much to deal with fake and incomplete substitutes. It’ll only make me yearn for the real kini some more.
I smile and look around the luxurious hotel room Q insisted he get for me. I’ll have all this at my disposal and more if I let myself go.
*sigh*
If only………..
I then get into bed, bring out my iPad and pour my heart out to you dear memoir.
*yawns*
This bed feels awesome by the way, loving this mini vacation.
Got to get my beauty sleep now memoir, will tell you more about Q some other time.
Bon nuit.
xoxo,
Miserable Me

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